Clichéd title, I know. But surprisingly apt.
” When all of your flaws and all of my flaws
Are laid out one by one
A wonderful part of the mess that we made
We pick ourselves undone.”
Everything in nature has balance. Black and white, order and chaos- we wouldn’t exist without balance. It plays a crucial role in our survival. What would we be without messing up once in a while? If we didn’t make mistakes- memories, really- we’d never learn and never grow. Nothing is perfect. Perfection doesn’t actually exist. It’s overrated and useless.
Our flaws are considered our weaknesses. They hinder us from being perfect. But is it really so? Is what makes us human really what stops us from being the best versions of ourselves? I don’t think so. Flaws don’t detract from our personality, they add to it. It makes us unique and special.
Our flaws are usually what people notice first. They look out for flaws and imperfections. Things that make us different. Society picks on our quirks and eccentricities, mocks them, mocks them until we’ve all become the same. We follow all the rules, stick to the beaten path, become a tiny, mediocre, almost insignificant part in the giant machine that is society. Anything that sets us apart, our ‘flaws’ are frowned upon and dissension in the ranks inst tolerated. We become conformists. Conforming to the society around you may not always be a bad thing, but when it forces you to lose all your individuality, it’s dangerous.
We are all judged majorly by just about everyone, from the lady on the street to your own parents. And it’s not nice, but most people are just waiting to figure out our flaws. We do it to other people too. Perfection, after all, is a notion hard to deal with. We stumble and fall and do stupid things, but it’s okay. We’re only learning, anyway. People can be callous and cruel when they judge you, pick out the flaws you so badly tried to hide. They bring up the things you don’t want to remember, your fears and insecurities, the things about yourself that you hate and want to forget. You blame your flaws for this, say to yourself, “If I wasn’t like this, it would be better.”
But why? What’s wrong with the way you are now? If we did have a way to fix our flaws, every single one of them, do you think you’d be happy? Would we be content with how we were, or do you think we’d find another set of issues and flaws to be disappointed with? Truth is, we judge ourselves too harshly. More than society, everyone else, we are the ones who judges ourselves the most. We are the ones who try to pick apart every aspect of our personality, find out each ting flaw- imperfections that are infinitesimally small- and beat ourselves up over it.
And one else we’ve inflicted enough hatred and anger and disgust upon ourselves, we bury it. We try to bury our flaws, pretend they don’t exist. Dismiss them as irrelevant and insignificant in the larger scheme of things. But does it make us happy? We will always find new things to despise about ourselves and the way we deal with it is very destructive. We even hope in vain for someone else to come along and fix all our flaws. And then get crushed once we realise that that will never happen. Real life isn’t a chick flick, after all.
Flaws are not meant to be ignored and dismissed. They never were. If we try to pretend we don’t have flaws, we’re pretending a part- a major part- of us doesn’t exist and doesn’t mean anything. Why should we let our flaws control us and drag us down? Turn your flaws into your strengths. Allow the to give you power. Your flaws are your strengths, if you let them be. They make you different, they make up an essential part of our soul. We need them to be who we are. Without our imperfections, we’re empty- a shell of the person we have the potential to be.
Flaws are beautiful and powerful and everyone has them so why hide them? Embrace them, accept them and learn to be happy even if you aren’t society’s definition of perfect. Perfect is a ridiculously overused term anyway. Instead of perfect, people should strive to be real. Because true beauty, true grace comes from something that’s real and passionate, and something like that will never be perfect.
I have my own set of flaws. I can be impulsive and rude and silly and awkward. These aren’t my only flaws. I definitely have many more. But I’ve learnt to try embracing them. I’m proud of how I am. How I will be. Everyone should try acknowledging that they have imperfections and then work on embracing these quirks that make you you because it certainly takes away from the pressure of ameliorating yourself all the time.
It’s a wonderful thing when you just forgive yourself and accept your flaws as a part of you that’s never going to go away.
*Partly inspired by the song Flaws by Bastille. It’s a beautiful song that you should definitely listen to. Also, picture not painted by me. Just something I liked*
catatoniccatharsis 